What is the best action figure line of the 80's? I know I have my favorites, but as far as quality goes, what line ranks numero uno? Scoring will be based on a condensed form of my 5 Ps, (See earlier, Captain Rex post), and the figures themselves carry about 80 percent of the weight. This includes everything that comes with or within a carded or boxed figure. Other items, separate from a figure's original packaging, such as vehicles and playsets, make up the remaining 20 percent.
There was a lot of elbowing to get into the the coveted Top 5. Transformers were pulled over and impounded for not having the proper paperwork. The Transformers of the 80's were vehicles first and figures second. Mobile Armored Strike Kommand or M.A.S.K. also didn't qualify as their figures took a back seat to vehicle designs. LJN's Advanced Dungeons and Dragons almost broke the Top 5, they fit the requirements, but didn't have the hit points to complete the campaign. I warn you now, this is not a popularity contest. Throw out all your childhood and pop culture biases and let's take an honest look at our most deserving plastic people.
Number 5
HE-MAN and the MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE
Luckily for most of the 80's toys, they came with 30 minute commercials in the form of cartoons. A shrewd move, but it was successful in pushing the Masters of the Universe into many households. There wasn't anything special about the package, a splash of color and the name of the figure. Take the figure out, (there goes the value), and the figure can be better appreciated. The arms had a swivel joint at the shoulder meaning they could be raised and lowered only. The legs had more of a ball joint held together by a rubber band or something. This was a double edged power sword as it allowed for a wider range of motion, but this joint loosened over time. Soon, He-man couldn't stand on his own and would crumble under the weight of his upper body. And who wouldn't? Could anyone support that frame? The design of the overly muscular body and short, bent legs always bothered me. That, and the swapping of body parts to make another "new" figure. "Sure, color Beast Man's hairy body gray and replace the head. We'll call him Stratos. Nobody will notice. He has a backpack and clip on wings, he's a totally different figure!" Just to be clear, using the same mold with different color plastic is only acceptable with weapons found in a weapons packs. Leaving Eternia on a high note, Castle Grayskull was a masterpiece and every playset, as a rule, should have a trap door.
Number 4
INDIANA JONES: RAIDERS of the LOST ARK
The Indy figure line was a little light with only 9 figures total. Indy is, by far the best of the bunch with his gun slinging or whip whipping (?) action features. Plus, the whip can be looped around the hook on his belt and the gun fits into a holster on his leg. Indiana also had some added articulation in his legs. Indiana's knees bent and the thigh joints were designed with a bit of an angle to help Indy straddle his Arabian Horse or hang off the grill of the Desert Convoy Truck, which were only vehicles of the line. I sill wish the Raiders line would have lasted long enough to make a Cairo Indy. That's an Indiana Jones without the leather jacket. I figured I can pry off Indy's head and swap it with the Map Room Playset Indy body. The Map Room figure Indy even came with a satchel! Salah, the Cario Swordsman, and the German Mechanic were nice enough figures, but the Toht figure with his little Luger, black trench coat, and my favorite addition, the tiny burn inside his right palm, always freaked me out, but in a cool way. It's all in the details. Honorable mention goes out to the Well of the Souls playset. It needed more than 12 snakes and 1 mummy, but the R2-D2 and C-3PO markings on the Ark cover help me forget about that.
Number 3
THE SUPER POWERS COLLECTION
If you are a fan of the DC heroes, how awesome were the Super Powers? I still think Kenner's Super Powers action figures are the best representation of DC figures to date. Thanks to the 3 and 3/4th inch figure trend started by Lucas, we got a scale of figure that allowed for vehicles and playsets present day DC Universe characters can only dream of. With this super hero line we not only got cloth capes, but an added feature of movement in the form of the "Power Action" features. These features added to the enjoyment of the figures and (mostly) made sense; Hawkman's wings flapped, Red Tornado spun, and Brainiac...kicked? Yes, they got a little carried away, but for the most part the gimmick worked. I can also appreciate the unique molds of each character. None of that using-Iron-Man's-arms-and legs-for-Dr.-Doom's bologna like the Secret Wars line. I was always impressed by the small details. The Super Powers had clean paint jobs with accurate colors. Superman's cape had the yellow "S" identical to the comics, Green Lantern's ring hand had an actual ring in the mold and wasn't just a dab of green paint, and The Clark Kent mail-away had the same blue eyes as Superman. Thanks to the artwork of José Luis García-López I could even appreciate the packaging. I thought the cut out power cards and mini-comics were unnecessary, but I have to admit, the cards taught me about gold Kryptonite and the comics kept me busy one night after I saw A Nightmare on Elm Street and couldn't sleep.
Number 2
SECTAURS
I know, that came out of left field, right? I just re-discovered this figure line recently. As a kid, I remember the episodic commercials, but that was it. Now I see how how ahead of their time these figures were. Not only did you have a knee joint, but a ball joint at the shoulders. Sure, I would have liked an elbow joint, but the bad guys had fangs, metallic paint schemes made the Sectaurs' armor, look, well, look like armor, and then throw in the creepy factor of each figure having pupil-less bug eyes then ask yourself, what's not to like? I haven't even mentioned the finger puppet accessory. Some figures came with a giant insect type steed the figures could ride on. How ingenious is that. The Hive playset was just the icing on the cake, but you'll need 6 additional bug eyes to spot one.
Number 1
GI JOE: A REAL AMERICAN HERO
Not only did Joes have elbow joints, but Hasbro even threw in a bicep swivel joint. All of this poseability in a 3 and 3/4 figure! The paint jobs were well done, colorful, and detailed. With at tiny cobra emblem on every cobra shoulder or chest, they had to be. Guns, backpacks, helmets, swords, and even animals were just some of the numerous accessories you would find accompanying your figure in his blister. The card has some painted artwork and the file-cards gave you a bio and skill set specifics. Drifting beyond the figures you had your choice of an endless amount of additional accessories or vehicles. Maybe you wanted something small, like jet pack or maybe a new bed frame in the form of a 6 foot aircraft carrier! The figure line got a little weak there in the late 80s, but you can't take away from the sheer volume of great figures this line had to offer.
Welcome to the top of the 80's heap, GI Joe. You earned it.
EPILOGUE:
Maybe the biggest disappointment was the absence of the Citizen Kane of action figures; Star Wars. I agree, I was disappointed too. These figures were the pioneers and we wouldn't be where we are today without them. That said, the line actually hit in the late 70s which could squeeze them out of the ranking on a technicality. But, the truth is, I don't need to hide behind that. Two words: Waist Joint. He-man had a waist joint that didn't really work for posing, but opened a door for movement. I got another two words for you: Paint Job. He-man had better paint jobs. To be honest, the paint applications on the hands of the vintage Star Wars figures are sloppy at best. Luke, Han, Obi-wan, Leia all look like their hands were painted with the exactness of a Dairy Queen worker dipping a soft serve cone into a hard shell topping. If we were grading vehicles only; Star Wars wins hands down. But, as far as figures go, He-man has the power.
R. Ticulation
Showing posts with label Transformers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Transformers. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Thursday, July 14, 2011
There Can Be Only One!
Who's up for a round of "King of the Hill", the Transformers version? I was planning on just taking a relaxing stroll down memory lane with a Top 10 list. Then, I realized, not all G1 Transformers measure up to the wonder and ingenuity of the first series. A similar thing happened to the GI Joe lines of the late 80's and early 90's where the Joes got gaudy florescent paint jobs and bigger, unweildly weapons. As Transformer lines progressed, they suffered from the complacency of repeated transforming mechanics. How many Autobot legs were just the back trunk and back windshield folded over? That said, my biggest beef with any type of Transformer, old or new, is concerning the proportions. Ironhide anyone? Not that anyone clamors for a red van, but a front windshield for a face? You kidding me? I guess someone thought it was a good idea. Good enough to paint him white, slap on some red lights, and call him Rachet. So instead of a list, these guys have to battle for the top slot and earn the right to scream victorious on the backs of lesser toys.
With that said, of course, cocksure Starscream is our first contender. The plane looks awesome. A big fan of accessories, I like the interchangeable missiles and love how the launchers can be removed and reattached as the I'll-shoot-you-in-the-back-to-climb-above-my-station forearm lasers. The arms themselves had a decent range of movement and their size and length were a nice balance with the robot as a whole, but the oversized boxing gauntlets threw everything off. I don't blame the gloves, they actually balance Starscream's large feet, I blame his head. Having trouble finding it? Not surprising. Starscream's head is tiny. To make identification worse, no stickers or paint applications were used to call attention to it. (At least, I didn't get any eye stickers.) Instead, you're wondering who stuck a burnt mini-marshmallow into the undercarriage of your Transformer. (It was probably your older brother.) Even so, if somehow you could look past his shrunken head, a glance from the side reveals another eyesore in the form of his gray nosecone protruding out the back of his head. Nice try Starscream, but down you go. As long as this next Transformer still functions, you will never hold the title.
Megatron. How awesome that you not only get a gun with chrome plating, but it's got some die cast metal in there to give it some weight. These were the days before the orange tips on every toy gun. Back in the day, the more realistic, the better. I never had a Megatron, and kind of wrote him off until I had a chance to transform him into a robot. It was some very crafty engineering behind this toy's construction. Combine the barrel, stock extension, and scope to form a laser cannon. These accessories were a nice touch, but we can't ignore the elephant in the room. In robot form, Megatron just didn't look that good. Even the coolness factor of an arm cannon couldn't distract you from the stubby arms and twiggy thighs. The future would bring some sweet versions of Megatron, but as far as G1 versions go, Megatron is taken down by 6 green transformers with hardhats.
Devastator. Not only do you get 6 separate construction vehicles, but you can assemble them to form a super robot! This green Goliath came with shooting fists and missiles, which were neat on their own, but when deconstructed, each robot had tiny weapons and accessories of their own. Yet, as they say, the bigger they are the more tears that fall when your toy takes a digger. Thanks to the wheel loader aptly named Scrapper, he most likely would. If Devastator wasn't falling off a table, he was falling apart. Maybe the gun was too heavy, or flawed construction plagued this Constructicon. Whatever it was, Devastator had the hardest time staying together. As a display piece for a collector, this is a nice item, but for any type of play, its a massive headache. So, Devastator topples from the top with a push from our heroic red diesel. The Japanese call him Convoy.
Optimus Prime is a fan favorite and I can see why. He was a great character and had a great toy incarnation. Ironhide was a pretty cool character as well, but fell to pieces as a toy. Optimus had no such failings. This was one of the smoothest Transformers ever made. As a kid, I remember driving him off my couch and trying to transform him as fast as I could before he hit the ground. Of course, the transformation sound effect was provided by my own throat clearing. (Anyone not familiar with the Transformers must have thought I was constantly hacking up my lungs. I pretty much had strep throat when I was finished transforming Devastator.) Optimus must have had the biggest accessory in the Transformer lineup in the form of his trailer which doubled as a repair shop and battle platform. I always wondered if little figures were originally designed to come with the Transformers, especially with Optimus, due to the little control panel seats. But, as great as Optimus Prime is, he has his flaws. I guess Optimus was hinting at his future Beast Wars self with those gorilla arms. It was the added length caused by his blue fists that gave Optimus his Reed Richard's look. I also wanted to be able to move his legs past the straight position. They could go backwards, but never step forward. It's time for Optimus to transform and roll on out of here. A great toy, but not even his simian strength can prevent Optimus from losing his grip on the throne. His vanquisher was once a Decepticon, but now flies the banner of Autobot.
Wonderful plane. Wonderful robot. Wonderful balance. Wonderful Jetfire. I was a big fan of this jet. If you somehow avoided the yellowing plastic that progressively darkened with every passing year, count yourself lucky. If you also have all your armor without any clips broken, go buy some lottery tickets! This one took some finesse to transform. I was always worried I would break it. The wings seemed so slim to me. Once transformed though, wow. Arms and knees could bend, shoulders and thighs also had a great range of motion. This didn't have to just stand there, he could be posed! You could even half transform him into some robot/plane hybrid. This toy was incredible! Something that always bothered me, though, was the face. For some reason the toy's face looked nothing like the cartoon face. Then, I ran into the cartoon Robotech and noticed the Veritech fighters. Jetfire was no Transformer! They just put an Autobot sticker on Rick Hunter's VF-1! You are disqualified Jetfire!
Does this mean Optimus wins by default? The prize for the best transformer goes to Opti--did you hear that? Sounded kind of like a Cylon from the old Battlestar Galactica.
"Buzzsaw. Eject. Operation: Conquest."
I can't say anything bad about Soundwave. It stinks that tape decks are no longer in "play", but that doesn't take away from this marvel of manufacturing. Proportions are even and Soundwave transforms without a hitch. While Optimus had Roller, a solid blue, 6 wheeled rover, Soundwave came with a cassette tape that could be ejected from his tape deck chest and transformed into a bird. How do you compete with that? I was always partial to designs of Ravage or Rumble over Laserbeak, but the condor tape holds its own. Though I like the color scheme of Laserbeak better, there is no denying as far as accessories go, Buzzsaw takes the cake. The best poses are with Buzzsaw on Soundwave's shoulder or perched on the extended arm of his master. If that isn't enough, batteries doubled as a gun and shoulder cannon and could be stored in the compartment under the belt clip. The Japanese took it a step further and included headphones to make the Walkman form even more convincing. For these reasons, Soundwave stands alone at the top of the heap as the best Transformer of the vintage G1 series.
R. Ticulation
With that said, of course, cocksure Starscream is our first contender. The plane looks awesome. A big fan of accessories, I like the interchangeable missiles and love how the launchers can be removed and reattached as the I'll-shoot-you-in-the-back-to-climb-above-my-station forearm lasers. The arms themselves had a decent range of movement and their size and length were a nice balance with the robot as a whole, but the oversized boxing gauntlets threw everything off. I don't blame the gloves, they actually balance Starscream's large feet, I blame his head. Having trouble finding it? Not surprising. Starscream's head is tiny. To make identification worse, no stickers or paint applications were used to call attention to it. (At least, I didn't get any eye stickers.) Instead, you're wondering who stuck a burnt mini-marshmallow into the undercarriage of your Transformer. (It was probably your older brother.) Even so, if somehow you could look past his shrunken head, a glance from the side reveals another eyesore in the form of his gray nosecone protruding out the back of his head. Nice try Starscream, but down you go. As long as this next Transformer still functions, you will never hold the title.
Megatron. How awesome that you not only get a gun with chrome plating, but it's got some die cast metal in there to give it some weight. These were the days before the orange tips on every toy gun. Back in the day, the more realistic, the better. I never had a Megatron, and kind of wrote him off until I had a chance to transform him into a robot. It was some very crafty engineering behind this toy's construction. Combine the barrel, stock extension, and scope to form a laser cannon. These accessories were a nice touch, but we can't ignore the elephant in the room. In robot form, Megatron just didn't look that good. Even the coolness factor of an arm cannon couldn't distract you from the stubby arms and twiggy thighs. The future would bring some sweet versions of Megatron, but as far as G1 versions go, Megatron is taken down by 6 green transformers with hardhats.
Devastator. Not only do you get 6 separate construction vehicles, but you can assemble them to form a super robot! This green Goliath came with shooting fists and missiles, which were neat on their own, but when deconstructed, each robot had tiny weapons and accessories of their own. Yet, as they say, the bigger they are the more tears that fall when your toy takes a digger. Thanks to the wheel loader aptly named Scrapper, he most likely would. If Devastator wasn't falling off a table, he was falling apart. Maybe the gun was too heavy, or flawed construction plagued this Constructicon. Whatever it was, Devastator had the hardest time staying together. As a display piece for a collector, this is a nice item, but for any type of play, its a massive headache. So, Devastator topples from the top with a push from our heroic red diesel. The Japanese call him Convoy.
Optimus Prime is a fan favorite and I can see why. He was a great character and had a great toy incarnation. Ironhide was a pretty cool character as well, but fell to pieces as a toy. Optimus had no such failings. This was one of the smoothest Transformers ever made. As a kid, I remember driving him off my couch and trying to transform him as fast as I could before he hit the ground. Of course, the transformation sound effect was provided by my own throat clearing. (Anyone not familiar with the Transformers must have thought I was constantly hacking up my lungs. I pretty much had strep throat when I was finished transforming Devastator.) Optimus must have had the biggest accessory in the Transformer lineup in the form of his trailer which doubled as a repair shop and battle platform. I always wondered if little figures were originally designed to come with the Transformers, especially with Optimus, due to the little control panel seats. But, as great as Optimus Prime is, he has his flaws. I guess Optimus was hinting at his future Beast Wars self with those gorilla arms. It was the added length caused by his blue fists that gave Optimus his Reed Richard's look. I also wanted to be able to move his legs past the straight position. They could go backwards, but never step forward. It's time for Optimus to transform and roll on out of here. A great toy, but not even his simian strength can prevent Optimus from losing his grip on the throne. His vanquisher was once a Decepticon, but now flies the banner of Autobot.
Wonderful plane. Wonderful robot. Wonderful balance. Wonderful Jetfire. I was a big fan of this jet. If you somehow avoided the yellowing plastic that progressively darkened with every passing year, count yourself lucky. If you also have all your armor without any clips broken, go buy some lottery tickets! This one took some finesse to transform. I was always worried I would break it. The wings seemed so slim to me. Once transformed though, wow. Arms and knees could bend, shoulders and thighs also had a great range of motion. This didn't have to just stand there, he could be posed! You could even half transform him into some robot/plane hybrid. This toy was incredible! Something that always bothered me, though, was the face. For some reason the toy's face looked nothing like the cartoon face. Then, I ran into the cartoon Robotech and noticed the Veritech fighters. Jetfire was no Transformer! They just put an Autobot sticker on Rick Hunter's VF-1! You are disqualified Jetfire!
Does this mean Optimus wins by default? The prize for the best transformer goes to Opti--did you hear that? Sounded kind of like a Cylon from the old Battlestar Galactica.
"Buzzsaw. Eject. Operation: Conquest."
I can't say anything bad about Soundwave. It stinks that tape decks are no longer in "play", but that doesn't take away from this marvel of manufacturing. Proportions are even and Soundwave transforms without a hitch. While Optimus had Roller, a solid blue, 6 wheeled rover, Soundwave came with a cassette tape that could be ejected from his tape deck chest and transformed into a bird. How do you compete with that? I was always partial to designs of Ravage or Rumble over Laserbeak, but the condor tape holds its own. Though I like the color scheme of Laserbeak better, there is no denying as far as accessories go, Buzzsaw takes the cake. The best poses are with Buzzsaw on Soundwave's shoulder or perched on the extended arm of his master. If that isn't enough, batteries doubled as a gun and shoulder cannon and could be stored in the compartment under the belt clip. The Japanese took it a step further and included headphones to make the Walkman form even more convincing. For these reasons, Soundwave stands alone at the top of the heap as the best Transformer of the vintage G1 series.
R. Ticulation
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